Change..Change..go away..come again another day

So, I just ate a good amount of Jeff's candy.  I also had a large slice of chocolate cake today.  I was in pain today, and I realize that stress and pain are triggers for me to eat poorly.  Although, somehow, I was vegan for 4 years and ate extremely healthy - except that I didn't eat enough and ended up "skinny" but not fit.

I have since realized that the "eat-clean" lifestyle is exactly what I did when I was vegan, with the added part of..being vegan.  I stayed around 135-140 lbs, a size 6-8, 5'5. Now, why is it so hard to revert back to eating a way that I ate for FOUR years with no issue, no regret, and never falling into a craving.  I honestly don't know.  I do know that breastfeeding makes me as hungry as I was when I was 38 weeks pregnant though.  That definitely makes it hard to pass on the candy next to the bed when I'm laying there with a stomach of pure pain, and I don't want to go to the kitchen to prepare something since it might wake up Penny, and I'm already exhausted anyways.

I took this picture out of an eat clean book at Borders tonight.

Those rules are pretty much exactly what I lived by.  I am going to reinstate those rules into my life.  I know after a couple of weeks that I won't even be tempted by cravings.  It is just finding those foods that are acceptable and finding staples that I want in my diet and am comfortable eating. 

Another solution I am working on is smoothies more often, and drinking enough fluids.  I find some days I go without drinking hardly anything.  I'm sure this hurts my milk supply and my health.  I used to drink SO much water, I actually drank too much water and did not have enough electrolytes left. 

Another thing.. since my pregnancy I am WEAK.  I used to be able to do push ups, tons of sit ups, lunges, squats, all of that fun stuff.  Now I can't do a push up! ridiculous! So, I will be continuing the biggest loser 10 minute a day work out.  That will help me to tone up muscles while I change my diet.

So to recount:

I will be living by the clean eating principles as well as vegan principles.
 I will be drinking water. A decent amount.  I would say 5 bottles a day (16 oz X 5 = 80oz)
I will use the biggest loser DVD workout once a day, everyday.

These all take no additional time into my day, so having Penny in my arms all day will not make these goals impossible. I do want this and know that Tim and family will support me, although I don't need it, because I'm awesome.

I..CAN...VEGAN!

P.S. TAKE THAT TIM!